so, i have felt a little nudging from God that i need to break out of my protective shell and be a bit more transparent with my life. this is something i've always wanted to do, and until fairly recently thought i was living in such a way. however, through some recent "digging" (over the past year), i have come to the realization that i tend to show people only the "good". my thought has been, why ripple the waters with what i am reallly feeling? struggling with? thinking? i am realizing that it is much more productive and healthy to be honest with God, myself and others. so, you will begin to see more of the real me as you visit this little blog...just thought i'd give you a heads up incase you were just visiting to check out my crafty projects. :) here we go...
current tunes: never let go, dcb
it's a chilly sunday morning and i am sitting at starbucks trying to focus on a project i've been working on for 2 weeks. i've got david crowder playing on my iphone. his lyrics are always so moving and true! i should really listen to dcb more often...the songs always encourage me to see God in a more honest way.
current tunes: i believe in you, bethany dillon
so, back to this project. i am to write a letter addressed to me, expressing forgiveness and compassion for the areas in my life that i have "managed" on my own. talk about exhausting...this project calls you to look at yourself under a microscope of sorts. it is humbling, yet freeing all at the same time. i have already typed about four drafts...each one adding more and more areas that i have "managed".
current tunes: all i need is you, adie
it is amazing to me to see the multiple areas of life that i have tried to control or manage. some of the areas i controlled allowed me to "measure up" to those around me. other areas i managed in order to meet a need that was not met because of past experiences. no matter the origin of my "controlling" pattern, there is forgiveness from God. i know that in my mind, because God's word states it is true. "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace." (Eph 1:17). as i shared in a previous post, sometimes it is difficult to wrap my heart around these truths. God is true to His word - i know that in my head, and i so desperately want to believe that in the depths of my heart.
current tunes: where the love lasts forever, hillsong united
on another note - i am excited to visit family and friends this next week. i will be traveling home. the last time i was at home - i my mom's house was may 2010 for my sister's high school graduation. it's been too long!
alright - i'm off to go find a winter coat to take home. my old coat is a little too snug, and my blood has definitely thinned since moving to the sunshine state! if you need any good worship songs, the one's listed throughout this blog were great for me this morning! hoping you have a wonderful sunday...
until next time....
current tunes: the house of God forever, jon foreman
0 comments:
Post a Comment