honesty...

it's almost midnight, and i am wide awake.  this is so unlike me.  today was one of "those" days for me.  i guess it really started yesterday, but it carried over into today.  i am walking through a healing process in my personal life that calls for digging deep, brutal honesty...a true look at how i am feeling, why and what has led to those emotions/reactions. 

it's funny how these things work.  as hard as i try, it is difficult to just "shut" those emotions off (or at least curtail them greatly) when i go into a different role, such as work.  i try to keep work separate from other things, and vice versa, but today things just came bubbling to the surface.  i guess that's a good thing -- it is stretching me, calling me to honest with myself, with God, with others.  can i just say that sometimes honesty, as much as i desire it, is hard?

i crashed when i came home.  made a quick dinner and quickly fell asleep watching a movie.  now, four hours later, i can't seem to still my mind.  i have taken steps to "right" the situation, and now i am just playing it over in my mind.  ugh!  i though this was dealt with!  i've laid in bed praying for God to still my heart and mind...to rest in His peace.  this is part of getting to that point for me...getting some thoughts out on "paper."

okay, thoughts are on paper -- off to bed for now...i hope!